Help I am still Single

There are those who are single by choice while others still wonder why they haven’t become anyone’s choice. The question they ask themselves is why are they still single? There are two ways to go about singlehood. A person can decide to see themselves as a victim or the solution. It is important to look into oneself and find out the issues that have contributed to us being single.


Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships. With time and painful experiences, we all risk building up varying degrees of bitterness and becoming defended. This process begins long before we start dating, in our childhoods, when hurtful interactions and dynamics lead us to put up walls or perceive the world through a filter that can negatively impact us as adults. These adaptations can cause us to become increasingly self-protective and closed off. In our adult relationships, we may resist being too vulnerable or write people off too easily.

Unhealthy Attractions

When we act on our defenses, we tend to choose less-than-ideal relationship partners. We may establish an unsatisfying relationship by selecting a person who isn’t emotionally available. Because this process is largely unconscious, we often blame our partner for the relationship’s failed outcome. We tend to feel devastated or hurt by the repeated rejections without recognizing that we are actually seeking out this pattern.

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Speed dating has seen many singles go out there and take love by hand but for you to be successful in it there are tips to follow. You need to dress appropriately, watch your conversation and smile.


It’s natural to arrive a little nervous to a speed dating event, particularly if you have never been speed dating before and don’t know what to expect. Trust me, after the first speeddate or two (and after the first drink or two!) you will realise it’s a really fun and easy going singles event with other friendly singles. Everyone is in the same boat – they want to meet new people just like you for friendship and dating. So, relax and smile. There is a famous saying that goes “smile and world smiles with you”. This may seem like really obvious dating advice but this really is the most helpful of all tips for speed dating! You’ll be surprised how often guests say “I liked so and so but they were a bit serious about it all”. Singles who are smiling and laughing give off positive energy and attract others towards them. Dating nights are fun, so always go with an open mind and a big smile.

Don’t just talk about yourself

“Me me me me me me me me m–“ LOUD BELL RINGING! Talking about yourself non-stop for 4 minutes is not ok. Make sure you listen too, it’s always key in any strong relationship.

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You could be wondering where the idea of speed dating originated from. This wonderful idea has Jewish origin. A Jewish Rabbi set it up as a way of helping young Jewish people meet each other

Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another. Back in the naughties, when the idea was novel, speed dating events attracted large diverse crowds. Up for a laugh, people embraced the novelty, and tried it. But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled … leading to very different audiences.

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